Thursday, November 6, 2014

Holy Smokes it's Nov!!!!

Where did the time go people?!?! I have started five or six different blog posts over the past few months and nothing has stuck. Mainly because my life, my fabulous life feels little like that stupid card game we all played as kids where someone throws up 52 cards in the air and you have to pick them up?!?! Who thought of that and why are we are gullible enough to do it?!?!

With so many things buzzing and whirling around in my life (in a great way) I have forgotten to make time to write and to also forgotten to make time to do kettlebells in the morning. Since moving into my apartment I have only done this twice!! I need to get back on the kettle bell wagon because with the holidays literally around the corner I can feel my pants getting tighter with each little bite!

As most of you know I moved this year and with a move comes one of my favorite October games to play...."How many Trick or Treaters will I get!??!" Since I am a glass is overflowing type of gal I assumed I would have a line out the door and down the block so I bought bags of candy. Bags of GOOD candy. Candy I would want to eat (mistake number 1). I bought said candy about a week before halloween because I TOLD MYSELF, "The stores might run out"  (mistake number 2 and 3) **Note to self no stores will EVER run out of candy and buying candy early is just dangling the carrot right in front of my face.....if you have been following along you know I have ZERO self control with food. ZZZZZZ.....EEEEEEEEE.....RRRRRR.....OOOOO!

So after one long cold walk home from the train that week I decided to self medicate with fun size candy bars. Oh the flood gates were open people. So night after night I watched in total horror as the candy bowl slowly went on the night of Halloween I went back to the store and bought some more candy. This time I bought things I don't like (which isn't much let's be honest) in hopes I wouldn't eat THAT much of it. I 100% opened every bag I bought and taste tested everything and then threw out most of the samples saying out loud, "Not worth the Weight Watchers Points!!" It's kind of like when you see a "don't touch" or "wet paint" sign and you have to touch it.....I had to try them. Blow Pops weren't great in the early 90's and they aren't great now!

That night I ran home and sat at the front door just waiting for the little kids to come lining up! This is the first time in a long time I've lived in an actual house in a neighborhood. This could be kid-a-plooza 2014!!!!

Welp I had 8.....yes 8 trick or treaters and one of them wouldn't even put his mask on! I may or may not have been on my third cocktail by time these teenagers rolled on up and  I may or may not have said, "Trick or Treat! Wait, put your mask on if you want candy kid!"

Kid....just looking at me like he doesn't understand English

Me, a little more sassy, "Put the le masko on-o if you want candyo"

Kid, looks down at my VERY full candy bowl, sticks his little hand in and grabbed three blow pops. If it were snickers I would have swatted his hand away but since it was those blow pops (who wants a blow pop again I ask you) I let it slide!

KIDS THESE DAYS!!!! Pssssssshhhhhhhh!!

The boyfriend and I spent the rest of the evening doing a pumpkin beer tasting, toasting pumpkin seeds and playing a few INTENSE rounds of farckle by my a pumpkin candle. I figured it was a great send off to the month of October.

Dear Fall....

How I love you! You're beautiful colors, pumpkin spice everything and of course being able to lay around watching endless shows on Netflix, sipping tea, knitting, snuggling and not feeling a tad bit guilty about it. But I hate getting sick. And as of right now I am officially drowning in my own snot. I am not very good at being sick. I require a lot of pity, attention and sleep. Every night this week I have been in bed by 8pm and asleep by 8:30....thank you Nyquil and Sleepytime Tea! Thank you!

So with fall comes the colder weather. So far we, up here in New England, have had a pretty mild start to the great freeze ahead. We all know it's coming. Endless nights of below zero weather, bundling up like a zit about to pop with lots of wool and PRAYING for sun shine and no wind chills.

Sunday night I came into my apartment and found a little surprise. The heat wasn't on. It was FREEZING. I mean like penguins are about to move in freezing. I think it could have easily been about 50 degrees. I turned the heat ALL the way up and just waited.....waiting turned into hoping which then turned into swearing and then became acceptance that it was going to be a VERY cold night in casa de beth. SHIT!

I piled on the blankets, put on a very comfy hoodie, wool hat and some fingerless mittens, took some sleepy cold pills and drifted off into a drug induced como. Woke up all snuggly toasty warm and had immediate flash backs of being a teenager and not wanting to get out of bed to go to school. I haven't lived in a cold apartment with hardwood floors in years. There is something so fabulous about being extra snuggly in bed when the room is cold but not when it's Monday morning at 6:25am. Nope, nope that is hell! That go on the list of things I truly hate.

- Hate list updated.....

*People being late to things (that keep me waiting)
*Waking up early in a very cold room when I am snuggly warm
*Long lines for anything
*Being hangry with no food insight
*Running out of water to drink
*Traffic (did I say that already)
*Bad weather at an airport when I have to be some the start of a vacation kind of some where (ooooooo that's a good one!!)

So I manned up and called my landlord to figure out what's wrong with the heating system. I have steam heat. I don't know how the steam is made but some where in that creepy basement below me steam is created and then set up (loudly) into my fabulous apartment with tall ceiling and lots of windows.

My landlord finally called me back later that afternoon,,,,

Very nice landlord, "Hey Beth! So it looks like I forgot to tell you that you have Oil Heating"

Me "huh?!"

Landlord, "Yeah you need to call and get some oil for the heating system"

Me, "Seriously?! How much is that?"

Landlord, "ummmmm it changes all the time but it's about $3.50 a gallon right now"

Me, "WHAT?! Soooooooo how many gallons do I need?? 10?"

Landlord, "HA! Ooooooh no! The tank is about 250 and you will need to fill it up every other month during the cold months"

Me, "I am going to officially freeze to death"

Next DayCalled the oil guy he recommended. 8 hours later Mr. Jackson called me back....

Mr Jackson (in a THICK Boston accent), "Hi There! I'm Mistah Jackson! So how can I help ya!"

Me, "I am cold! I need oil and I have no money. What can you do for me?"

MJ, "Have you checked the Boilah? Is there Watah in the tank? Is there oil in the tank?"

Me, "No because I am scared of the basement and won't set foot in there alone."

MJ, "ummmmm ok dearah! Are you home now?"

Me, "No I am stuck at work and won't be home until after 7 tonight"

MJ, "Yikes! That's late! How about tomorrah? I'll come by around 6 and take a look at the Boilah!"

Oh great! So not only am I sick but now I have to go down into the creepy basement and look at a Boilah! GREAT! So far this week is 275 Beth 2.

Last Night: Mr. Jackson came right on time, went through everything really quickly. I manned up and went downstairs in the creepy basement with him which is still super creepy and then figured out that I will not be able to afford to eat for the rest of my life because I need to heat my apartment. HOLY SHIT OIL IS EXPENSIVE!!! So $458.75 later I now own 125 gallons of pure black gold, texas tea! (as theme song to the Beverly Hills Hillbillies said) which apparently will only last hold on to your seats people....ONE MONTH. Yep, ONE FREAKING MONTH!!!!!

As those words came out of his mouth I looked up at my high ceilings, large windows and thought...SHIT! I am so screwed! So now I completely understand why people keep their homes at a brisk 60 degrees in the winter time because IT'S SO FREAKING EXPENSIVE TO HEAT!!!!!! I had no idea how good I had it with plush wall to wall carpets and forced hot air and a/c in that gosh darn condo!

So word to the wise if you come to my apartment at all this winter...bundle up people because yours truly is about to try and set the world record for making 125 gallons of oil last as long as humanly possible. I think I may need to buy another space heater or 10.

Week 733.75 Beth -10 (ate more Halloween candy)

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Turning over a new leaf

A few weekends ago I did something I haven't done in a long time. Nothing all day. Might have been partially do to being a little "dehydrated" as my mom likes to call it. Please read: hung over and sleep deprived. But either way I didn't do much of anything. Spent the afternoon reading in the sun, cataloging my yarn (yes I know.... What a WILD AND CRAZY life I lead!) as best I could and watching endless episodes of Law and Order on Netflix. But here's the real kicker. My favorite yarn store was having the most killer sale (20% - 50% EVERYTHING IN THE STORE) and I didn't go. Why? Great question.... because I have too many projects to do right now and I am broke. Very very broke.

For the past month I have been "trying" to live within this budget I drew up for myself and finding it utterly impossible. I mean like TOTALLY impossible. I am a social butterfly who likes expensive things and unfortunately my pay check does not agree with this life style at all. Looks like I need to go back to my old motto (which I don't really think I followed when I wrote it 10 years ago because some how I have $12k in credit card debt and just some hand bags and shoes to show for it.....DAMN YOU CARRIE BRADSHAW!!!!!) "living fabulously within my means". 

This actually needs to be applied to my life much sooner than later because people I have big news. HUGE NEWS! Nope I am not pregnant or engaged...nope nope nope...I found an apartment! Last month I started "looking" to see what's out there and I realized that there isn't much in my price range. After a few weeks of window shopping places online and some SCARY Craigslist replies I had a sinking feeling that I was going to end up living in Chinatown in a windowless basement apartment that smelled like kung pao chicken and fish heads.

About an month ago I was having lunch and cocktails with my fabulous friend Jacqui, who suggested I check out an apartment in Savin Hill. Her friend was looking for a roommate and she thought I would just love the location plus it didn't hurt that the price was cheap. I mean like REALLY cheap. (Please note....I would rather lick a homeless person than live with someone again at this moment in time) I said, "Sure I'll check it out!".  So after a few back and forth "hi how are you text messages" I found myself on a Friday afternoon in front of this turn of the century home in Dorchester.

 It looked like it was converted to apartments in the late 70's. There was a decent amount of street parking, a hip bar across the street and walking distance to the red line....not horrible.... And then I walked inside the place.....The gal who was showing me the place main selling point was "there is a cop who is ALWAYS on that street corner 24 hours a day so you should feel sort of safe walking home from the t or parking your car at night" (god help me, Toto, Looks like we're not in Kansas any more). Oh and let's not forget she was looking for roommates (PLURAL!!!!), so far the contestants were Yours Truly and a 23 year old Gay Grad Student who she claims was shy and didn't make a sound. (i.e. will be bringing home random guys every other night and then crying in his room while cutting himself later) and the cherry on this sundae....she had a BLIND mini pincher who was named pumpkin. The dog had just eye sockets, no balls...just sockets. And well people that's just a nightmare waiting to happen. I could just picture myself waking up in the middle of the night screaming after pumpkin had taken a wrong turn and wandered into my bedroom. He would climb up onto my bed and then just be "staring" at me. Yikes!

The search for the "perfect" apartment was starting to look pretty grim seeing everything that was half way decent and not on the corner of drive by street and hooker alley was $1500 to $1800 a month. Which is waaaaaaaay out of my price range. That is until I saw this apartment come up on the MLS listings. I knew I had to jump on it. The area it's in is great! It's filled with old Victorian homes that are now converted into duplexes, on the T Line (the subway here in the Boston Area), the town has a couple of restaurants and bars I don't hate, near the groceries stores I like, a few good friends are just blocks away and still close enough to the highway. It's a little more than I can afford but for 1000 sq feet, a little porch and lots of sun light it sounded like paradise....I hadn't even seen it in person yet and I was already in love. I called the guy who was listing it right away and made an appointment to see it as soon as possible that week. When I got there to view the place I found out half of the suburbs also wanted to come by and see it! I was one of 22 people putting in an application to rent this apartment. WTF?!? It almost felt like I was holding the last pair of drop dead beautiful Tory Burch heels that I know I shouldn't buy and can't afford  but because 22 other people want them I know HAVE TO HAVE THEM!!!!!

So after walking through the apartment with the other people like a herd of cattle I just knew I had to have it. I couldn't even begin to tell you what the space looks like or how much room I really have but at the time I knew it was PERFECT! 

So with a little help from people who love me, a lot of hope that the condo will sell asap and a leap of faith I am moving. Moving in 5 short days..... And with moving comes....drum roll please...PACKING! God what a total nightmare this is. If I was a hoarder I think I would have jumped into the Charles River by now but lucky for me I have very little emotional attachment to any possessions, just people so I keep throwing away bags and bags of stuff that I have been holding on to for years.

I tend to keep things for the "just in case I might......(fill in the blank with ANY, I mean ANY scenario at all! Zombie Apocalypse (check), Being whisked away by George Clooney on a yacht in the Mediterranean (check) The list can go on and on but I think you get the idea). I stumbled across ALL of my journals and poetry from 1991 - 1998. Oh sweet baby jesus what the hell was I thinking keeping this stuff?! I have lugged these across this great country twice and now two moves in the Boston Area for what?! To listen to my 13 year old self talk about how I got grounded for 6 months from stealing nail polish at a Rite Aid. Or how my parents "just don't get it!?" I still don't get "it"! And yet here they come to Malden!!

I have tossed A LOT of crap and I think also acquired much more stuff thanks to my mom and the worlds best step father. The two of them cleaned out their basement as well as some other family members and friends who are all donating to the "Beth needs furniture" Fund. Currently we are accepting donations for a funky coffee table (think Restoration Hardware), couch (would like something Mid Century Modernish) and possibly a small kitchen table with chairs. (not sure about this one though because again I was only in the apartment for literally a minute and said I would take it!)

That's what's been going on in my life as of right now. Well that and.....I've also starting to date again...I'm currently dating a really great guy who makes me smile so much my face hurts all the time but more on that later! 

Monday, July 21, 2014

You're Wild Colorado.....

Before I get into the Colorado trip I have a confession to make....I just ate two full lunches! What the heck is that about?!?! I guess I was hungry! And the sad thing is that I am not even painfully full! Looks like yours truly is working out tomorrow morning!! Glad I got that off my chest!

Ok back to the task at hand......DENVER!!!!!!

Denver was a week filled with LOTS AND LOTS of super rad family time which is exactly what I needed after such a wacky few months here in Boston. A lot of people think I am crazy in that good way or at least I tell myself that. There's just something super special about being with 30 or so people who are equally as crazy as I am and that really make me just normal.

*My favorite person on this planet!

*My other favorite people on this planet.


*tapping the rockies!

What a trip! I am back, in one piece and looking even more fabulous then when I left. My hair is now honey bronde (yep that's a not a real word but it's like if blonde and brown had a baby....) I basically look like Jenny from the Block. Holla at your girl!

ANNNNNNNNND, much to my mothers dismay, I got my first ( ear muffs....I know not my last) tattoo! I'm sorry mama! I can feel your disappointment oozing through the computer as I type this.

There is NOTHING that can prepare you for your first tattoo. I mean NOTHING. I must have asked every single person I saw for months what it felt like. Some people said it didn't hurt at all....well those assholes lied. Others said it felt like someone scratching a sun burn. No one in my life was EVER mean enough to do that to me so I couldn't imagine what that felt like but I don't think it was that either. To be honest I cried when I got my flu shot this year so I knew this wasn't going to be a walk in the park. I also knew that I REALLLLLLLLLY wanted it so I had to man up. There was no one else in this world I trusted to do this (and by trusted I mean would put up with me and my squealing) than my cousin-in-law, Dean. He's calm, patient and VERY talented.

Everyone meet Dean! :) He's the one in the white. Dean meet everyone!

I did all the right things you are suppose to do before getting ink (yeah I am so hardcore now...I have the lingo down!). Don't drink any booze (check), don't take anything that will thin your blood (check), eat before you go (CHECK CHECK, like this was ever going to be a problem) and drink a lot of water (check). I did forget to bring snacks (fail) but thank god for my cousin because he did (which I am guessing was his lunch) and let me snack away on everything like it was my last meal on earth. He's a SAINT. A GOD DAMN SAINT!

As my brother is dropping me off at his shop in downtown Denver ( He goes, "So Mom wanted me to talk you out of this and thinks you're going to pass out. But I think it's pretty bad ass" God I love my brother! 

15 mins later at the shop.....

Dean puts the stencil on and goes (in his ADORABLE British accent) "Alright are you ready?" 

Me, "Oh sure!" 



*Dean stops after doing a single tiny tiny line

Deano, "You ok?"

Me "Yeah I think so"


Me "OH GOD! I think I'm going to pass out!"

*shit my mom WAS right

Saint Dean, "You know let's take a break. I can go as slow as you want" 

Me "It's going to be like this the whole time uh?" 

Saint Dean, "Well....ummmmm...."

Me "Ok let's try again...."

The Saint "Ok...."


10 seconds later.......

I guess this is the moment all of the color drained from my face and I looked like I really was going to pass out so the other dudes in the shop brought out a big industrial fan and put it right on me. Then got me a few bottles of cold water, a cold rag for my neck and a lollipop to get my blood sugar back up. All I could think was, "Shit! It's going to be a long afternoon! 

*This start/stop pace continued for the entire outline WHICH WAS DONE IN WATER because this piece (again so hardcore with the lingo) was going to look as much like a water color as humanly possible! So after about an hour and a half (which my guess for any normal person would've only taken about a half hour but because I stopped every two seconds I dragged it out a little more) of pure pain I looked down and saw nothing because again he's outlining me in WATER! So sad. But so necessary so he can see the stencil once he starts filling in the color. 

Let me just say again.....The outline killed. I mean KILLED. I still don't know how I got through it. Saint Deano was SO SWEET and as gentle as possible. We look a lot of breaks and he even did yoga breathing with me at one point (this part may or may not be true...I was fading in out a tiny bit) 

Once we got to the color part of this bad boy it did go much faster and wasn't NEARLY as painful.  I eventually manned up a little bit more once my cousin Kevin got there. I knew with him and his NEW WIFE V, welcome to the family sister, I couldn't wimp out. MAN UP! 

Dean did/does SUCH beautiful work and I can't wait to get more pieces by him. My whole left arm is yours my love! If you in the Denver area and want to get a tattoo please go see him, He's such WONDERFUL artist! Love you Deano! 

So that was Denver in a nut shell. Smoothies in the am, family, tattoos, yoga boot camp from hell and a lot of laughs.  I'll be back in September for more family fun....and maybe another tattoo. Sorry mom! :) 

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

It takes a lot of little steps to walk a marathon

At this very moment my life is not a sprint but a very slow emotional marathon. I am a very "go go go" type gal. I love being spontaneous and grabbing life by the balls. I love "ripping off the band aid" and let the healing process start as soon as humanly possible. This is one of the first times in a long time I don't have the luxury. Don't get me wrong here I am VERY happy about the decisions I have made over the past month and the healing process has begun. I know that "every step" is going in the right direction, its just that for once in my life I just don't know where that direction is and it's kind of exciting.

Yesterday I put the condo on the market. If anyone is looking for a little slice of heaven outside the Boston area have I got the place for you!!! For the low low price of $234,000.00 this once in a life time dream could be yours!! Parking spot and all!

Ok that being said over the past year I have noticed a lot of people doing the #100happydays. I like to think of myself as my "glass is over flowing" type of chick but I do have days where I want to crawl in a hole and hide. I wake up every morning and make a solid effort to put myself in a good mood. To try and find the positive but a lot of times it's easier said than done.

I don't want to get all preachy here but I think for right now in my life #100happydays seems like a REALLY good idea. I decided to do this via Instagram,, so feel free to follow along. 100 days from now I don't know where I will be living or who I will be smiling at but I do know that regardless I will be a hell of a lot happier.

So as all of you as my's to being happy! :)

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Rocky Mountain High

Now that pot is legal in this fine state (Colorado) three words have never been more true! I haven't smoked pot in years. I NEVER need help being hungry, sleepy and silly all at the same time. The last time I did smoke, about 6 years ago I bought a dime bag (which I found out doesn't cost $10 anymore!!!) from a sound guy at TT's, a dive rock club I worked at, and spent the better half of two hours and a full pack of rolling papers to roll one joint that I believe a blind 7 year old could've done better. I woke up the next day to find myself passed out with one hand in a bag of cheese Doritos and the other with a half eaten Snickers bar. Making mom proud!

I would say that almost every time I have ever smoked pot about two hours in I decide I don't want to be stoned any more and attempt to eat myself sober which NEVER works and it's not like I am trying to eat my body weight in baby carrots here people. It's more like housing a large pizza and enough candy bars to make an 11 year old sick to their stomach.

The reason I tell you this little fun fact is that in 2 days I will be sunny, warm, dry, Denver, Colorado surrounded by my very large, loving and very loud family. I can't think of a better way to spend a week off. If you knew my family you would be VERY jealous right now. Picture about 25 different versions of myself all in one room. Talk about heaven on earth right!?

There is something about spending time with family that leaves you feeling relaxed and like you need a vacation from your vacation all at the same time. I can't wait! Much more to come....

Monday, June 23, 2014

Flipping the Script

Well I have to say I didn't see this one coming. There you are, hopelessly in love thinking this is the person I am going to be spending the rest of my life with and then one day it's over. No, Alex is not dead nor is he sick with some sort of terminal disease. But we have decided to go our separate ways in life though. I have realized it's much easier to break up with someone you hate then it is to walk away from a really good guy.

Why are we calling it quits after 6 years? Because ultimately we want two totally different things with life. I want marriage and kids. He doesn't. There is more to the story then that but that's the basic plot line. The only reason I am writing this right now is to help me. It has nothing to do with
"putting myself out there" or "sharing my experiences with my others like me". No it's for a very plain and simple selfish reason. I need to write. It's a huge part of who I am and how I cope.

Some of you may or may not know this but I have written a few books, nothing is published so no need to run out to your local book store (but still hopeful for the future). The theme of all of them is dating, love, funny crap that happens in my life and heart break. It's easier to write about the times when the pain is at it's worst then when you are laughing till your crying. The reason being is because you forget to take time to write when you are having fun. You are too busy living.

Right now I am on week 2 of this whole new chapter in life and I have to say it's not a walk in the park. BUT I want to take a moment to thank my friends and family who have really stepped up and threw themselves into my life. You have ALL called, texted and hugged me every few hours of last week when I needed it the most and truly made every moment that much easier. The "just thinking about you" texts, extending your guest bedrooms for LONG periods of time and phone calls really do/does make a huge difference. I know saying thank you isn't enough but it's all I can think of at this moment.

The bottom line is I decided to put myself first. And even though I am very sad I am also excited at the same time. Don't be sad for me. Be happy and get ready to share and hear about MANY MANY MANY more exciting adventures to come. So there is no reason to say, "I am so sorry to hear this" be excited for me. I am not dead yet!

P.s. on a totally different note if you live in the Boston area and I have a FABU apartment you would like me to live in and give you $650 a month please let me know. :)

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Wise Words

I have like three drafts of posts I've been trying to finish but just can't seem to find the time. Which I guess isn't a bad thing. I truly enjoy being so busy with life I can barely breathe. I don't do well sitting around idol. It's not my MO but some times I forget to stop and smell the roses.

"Wise words"'s funny even as an "adult", a word I use VERY lightly to describe myself, I still learn new things every day and what's even better is when they come from people you love. My mom is now retired (Yay Mom!) and finding that time is just zipping by. I think that's true for everyone regardless of what's going on or not going on in your life. The older you get the quicker time seems to be slipping through our fingers. She told me that from now on she is going to "Say Yes to EVERYTHING!" I couldn't agree more. It's such a simple concept but can lead to so many things. What's the worse that don't enjoy the experience?? Well at least you had it. I am someone who lives to tell a good story and sometimes goes out of my way to try things in order to make "the story" that much better. Sometimes I forget to stop trying to direct the story line and just enjoy the moment. (*I'm working on me)

So with this whole new "Kum Ba hugs for all" philosophy on life I decided to say yes to drinks with a friend on a patio in Cambridge yesterday. It was HANDS DOWN one of the nicest days in the Boston area we have had in about a year. It was warm and sunny up until 8pm last night. Like 80's sunny. It was PERFECT! I haven't seen this old friend in about 2 years and he's like the second little brother I didn't know I wanted but now that I have him I couldn't picture my life without him. He's one of the funniest people I have ever met and honestly just a solid dude.

We met at a place in Cambridge called, Charlies Kitchen. It's a divey burger craft beer bar that I could picture in San Diego or the Bay Area. The food is decent, the burgers are REALLY good, the tap list is fine and you can walk out of there spending like $50 for drinks and burgers. They have a nice outdoor beer garden and a small sidewalk style patio for good people watching in Harvard Sq. The crazies were out yesterday, nice weather tends to bring them out, so people watching was at it's prime.

My friend and I were sitting, laughing and catching up. Our waitress asked us if we were ready to order...we decided to split a bunch of stuff or as he said, "Oh yeah I can totally get behind those nachos!" and that's when I realized something. A true measure of a good friend is when you can go out to eat and just share a bunch of crap regardless of what it is. People you aren't close to you would never share food with unless forced like tapas which is basically over priced snacking for dinner. Even if you have a dietary issues I would still share food with you if you're a close friend. I will eat just about anything within reason.

So let's recap here people....lessons learned this week....say yes to everything and if you are good friend of mine we can share food!

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

And then this happened on Monday....

"You never cease to amaze me...." Is what I just thought to myself about yours truly.

The scene:
 a sweet suburban town just outside of Boston on a warm, sunny and all around damn fine day

It's a speculator day here the Boston area. Sunny, almost 72 (yes 72...every degree counts after this hellish winter we just had). I spent the day going on a really long walk with my mom filled with great conversation and a fabulous lunch. She helped me fix (please read...fixed for me while I inhaled a bowl of soup and sandwich) a sweater that I made a little  too tight in the hips. (Maybe I should have thought a little more about this soup and sammy combo)

I need to start the next statement with a disclaimer...I am not a fan of lululemon not just because of their piggish views on full figure gals but because their stuff is SO over priced and everyone in there is slightly pretentious. That being said there is this zip up black jacket thing with a huge cowl neck that I have coveted for a year solid now. I have called every store around us for the past six months on and off to see if I could find one of these coats...No luck. They don't make them anymore and seems like they will never on my way back from the "best day ever" with my mom I made a quick stop at lululemon  just to see  if they had said zip up jack...I thought to myself..."What the hell!" Walked into the store and like a beacon of shinning light there it was...THE BLACK ZIP UP JACKET!!!!! It was tucked away in the back on a clearance rack and turns out that someone had returned and it was on deep deep discount (65% off) which for lulu is CHEAP. When the sales gal told me how much it was going to be a high fived her! That's how great my day was going. I should go play the god damn lottery!

That was until this happened.....

Cue the sinister music.....

I walked in the door to our condo (which is on the second floor of a three story building) and realized I had to take the trash out. It was over flowing and rather then making Alex do it when he got home from working the marathon I thought I should not be lazy and go toss it away... Grabbed my keys, the trash and walked outside. Pitched it in the large trash bin in the back of our building and began to walk back up to our back security door to realize ...."HOLY SHIT WHERE ARE MY HOUSE KEYS?!!?" We have lived here for 5 1/2 years and today turns out to be the day that I accidentally lock myself out of our condo. HOLY SHIT!!! Alex isn't going to be home for another 3 hours and I don't have cell phone or wallet. So since waiting this out at a local bar isn't an option or calling a friend to say, "I'm coming over" isn't happening I needed a plan C. The only thing I have is my car, office and mailbox keys....this is not good. This is not good at all people.

I look at my car (keep in mind I have NO clue about spacial relationships here...I mean NONE) and think to myself, "Ummmm...I wonder if I back the car up as close as I can to our balcony if I can jump from the roof of my car onto our balcony and pull myself up!" I mean the slider is open and I am only 33 so I still a few good years and stupid ideas left me. I drive up to our balcony and as I start climbing onto the roof of my Acura I feel my roof start caving in from my weight. "SHIT! That's going to leave a mark!!" Well I am already this invested into it I have no choice here. So here I am, standing on the roof of my car debating the following....

- There is a good 3 foot wide gap across and 2 feet up from my car to the bottom of our balcony, can I clear this?? Maybe.....
- Once I get that out of the way I have to then pull myself up from the floor of our little balcony up with nothing but the old weathered rotting wooden railing. And then I should be able to get in since I left the slider open because IT'S THE PERFECT DAY OUT. Should I roll the dice!?

After spending a solid 3 minutes debating the pros and cons of this I decided not to take this leap of faith because if I failed it would be a long way down and I really didn't feel like breaking my back, our balcony or my car this afternoon.

Drum Roll Please....I give you Plan D.....

There is a small auto body shop next to our house so I walked next door and met a very sweet younger guy named Zach.

Me, "Hi! I have a random question to ask you but do you have a ladder I could borrow so I can break into my house next door?"

Zach, "Well, yes but it broke last week and it's sort of fixed but I don't know how comfortable I feel having you use it alone"

Me, "Why don't you grab the ladder and let's go for a walk my friend!"

Dear Zach we don't have any other options here....

I said, "Ok, let's try it! If you hold it...I'll climb"

Zach, "Ummmm....I don't know how I feel about this"

Me, "Zach I won't tell anyone if you don't. It'll be FINE!"

Zach (poor kid), "Ok, but I would feel horrible if you fell and you're in flip flops!"

Me, "Yeah I would too!"

We walked back to my house making small talk. I found out our friend Zach just turned 21 this past weekend and was still a little hung over from the festivities....holy shit I am going to die!

So there we are standing in front of our condo and like a ripping off a band aid I climbed the ladder as quick as possible...hopped a foot up to the balcony and pulled myself up and over!!! We both cheered and right as I landed on the "safe side" one of the rotted wooden rails comes loose.

*So glad I didn't go with option c. SOOOOO glad!!!

Me, "Thanks new friend!! I owe you a cocktail!"

Zach, "Oh ok great! So should I...."

Walked inside and shut the slider while he was still talking. Sorry Zach....

Cut to me TEARING the house apart looking for the keys. I retraced EVERY SINGLE STEP I took in our 800 sq foot condo "aka shoe box diorama you would have made in 5th grade". keys ANYWHERE. So then I decided I must have thrown them in the trash...F********CK! I decide to do what any normal human being would do at this point....I "try" to find the bag of trash I had thrown away an hour prior. And "by find" I mean open the door to said dumpster and think "SHIT! THAT IS REEEEEEEEALLY NASTY" and then grab a stick to poke around a little bit. Nope no keys in there!

And here's the real kicker... our keys are special high intense Fort Knox kind of keys. You can't just go to a normal key making place to have these done...Nooooo hooooo  friends! You need to go to a place and then bring a SPECIAL CARD that we 100% do not have any longer to prove to them that you are the keeper of the lock. WTF?!

So here we are now on Day 3 of me without keys and Poor Alex had to go to three different lock smith places and BRING OUR PURCHASE OF SALE to show them we in fact own said house and are not creepy people trying to break in. HOLY SHIT! Well hopefully I don't do that again!

Thursday, April 3, 2014

I Have Seen The LIGHT!!!!

You know I never thought of myself as a coffee connoisseur. I don't like super bitter or really strong coffee. I am satisfied with a coffee from dunkin donuts or a really pretty cappuccino from a fancy coffee house where they make a Mona Lisa on top with the foam. Honestly I can't really tell the difference. Ok well I sort of can. I just don't care all that much. But holy shit have I seen the light with coffee and my friends there is no turning back now.

For the past two months we have been debating about taking the plunge and buying a nepresso machine. What is a nepresso machine you ask?

Good question.... We stumbled into William Sonoma one day after Sunday Funday lunch and got suckered into watching/taking part in a demo of the machines. There was wizzing, buzzing, creme was flying and BAM! This wonderful woman hands me one of the best cups of coffee I have ever tasted in a little paper cup.

It's a one touch, idiot proof, a monkey could work this, expensive espresso machine. It was love at first sip. It was hot but not too hot to burn your mouth, it was rich with flavor but nothing too over the top, the foam was PERFECTLY foamy and not a bitter bone in it's body. It was the equivalent to Goldilocks and the three bears but in cappuccino form.

At the time (please see two months ago) neither one of us could justify spending $300 on a new espresso maker because our Keurig worked just fine and we were going to a fabulous two week vacation in Brazil (I can feel your pity and disdain as I write this).

Cut to our second to last day in Brazil. We pulled over at some roadside truck stop to get a cup of coffee on our way back to Rio. I am half awake and order 5 or 6 cappuccinos from the woman behind the counter to hand out to my travel companions. I mean this is a full on truck fancy Starbucks here....the chances of getting some venereal disease from touching the toilet seat by accident is VERY high in this kind of place. I look over and I see she's using a nepresso machine to make these bad boys. She hands me all of the little paper cups and I pass them back to family word...HEAVEN! It was one of the best cups of coffee I had the entire trip. It was just delish!

So here we are....back to reality and both a little sad because the vacation is over. So what do we do to cheer ourselves up?? We go to William Sonoma on Monday night and BUY A NESPRESSO MACHINE!!!!!! with foam thingy (I think the technical term is aeroccino). OH MY GOD! It was hands down the best $221 we have spent all week! (We had a gift card for $75).

Every morning this week we both popped out of bed and say, "WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE?!" Every time I take a sip of my morning coffee, it's like seeing a kid of christmas morning after santa comes. And you know is the BEST cup of coffee I have ever had at home. Hands down no questions ask. It is so good that I was sad after I finished the first cup. I was about to leave for work and then I decided...Screw it, I'm making a second cup!

 Here's what I love about it...

- It takes up almost no space on our very small counter tops.
- It makes REALLY REALLY good smooth espresso and the company has about 25 different flavors. And every cup has this awesome "creme" on top.

- The aeroccino froths up ANY kind of milk. My almond milk was like velvet this morning and the froth stayed up in the cup for 45 minutes. 45 MINUTES! People are you reading this?!?!
- The aeroccino is silent. I had no idea it was even working. It an easy light up button that you hit and then it does it magic. Once the light turns off it's done.
- here's the HANDS DOWN BEST PART of the aeroccino...wait for it....wait for makes COLD FROTH. Cold perfect froth for an iced latte or capp. OH MY GOD!

Here's what I was on the fence about...

- The pods are about .65 each and can only be bought through their online store or one of the very few nespresso stores in the world. They have free next day shipping so you won't be without coffee for very long but still you need to buy 50 at a wack.

- The pixie (the machine we bought) is a little louder than I thought it would be. I mean not like the Vitamix loud but still not silent. I guess you know it's working.

- The water tank isn't as big as I wish it could be but who cares if I have to fill it up a little more often.

Other than that I have no complaints. I am BEYOND excited to try all the flavors and see what I like.

I have fallen in love with coffee people....FALLEN IN LOVE! I will never look at an almond milk cappuccino again in the same way.

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Another Day in Paradise.....part dois

I woke up this morning kind of in a funk. It was the first day that I felt a little bit of the "post vacation blues".

All I had to do was start looking through everyone's pictures and it perked me right back up again. Between all of the people in my life that will allow me to gush about my trip, pouring over pictures over and over again and stopping by a Dunkin Donut that is ran by Brazilian's where I used my fifteen Portuguese words to order my morning coffee I still have that slight tinge of vacation left in me.

*almost EVERY time I was in the water (ocean or pool) this was the permanent look on my face. Why you might ask??!! Because I was CAKED in sunscreen and it kept dripping down into my eyes. Never got a sun burn but may be going slightly blind. 

I won't bore you with all the vacation details but I do want to say this. It was truly (as I mentioned many times before) the most unique vacation I have ever been on. Only because I was able to really experience this area of Brazil and not by tour group or by water down version of a country. It was full on VIVA La Brazil!

Was it totally relaxing? YES! There were times when I felt slightly more on guard or a little frustrated because I had a hard time communicating with people but even in those uncomfortable times I was still relaxed and learning about life. There was no resort with all the plush over the top amenities like a swim up bar but  who really needs a swim up bar when you have water this blue as your back yard?!

The most utterly surprising fun facts about where we were staying in Brazil....

1. No water heaters in the homes only in the showers which you need to figure out how to light the pilot lights each time if you feel like taking a hot shower. This means that when you turn on the kitchen sink to wash the dishes or maybe clean up a cutting board after prepping raw fish there is no hot water at all to work with. After day one of this all I could think was "a little soap and a little hope" that none of us get sick. This fun fact is brought to you by Hepatitis A, the number 7 and the letter C! GET THE SHOTS BEFORE YOU GO!

2. This one really took me off guard. You can't flush toilet paper down the toilets! Nope not at all. Can't flush a square or KABOOM! And as my brother's girlfriend said, "Plumber No aque" Awesome. It wasn't as bad as it sounds. Our house keepers came and cleaned out the small trash cans by the toilets every day and they all had small lids too. I do have to say it felt REALLY good to wad up a big handful of TP and flush it in the airport on our layover when we got back to the states! (little things in life) 

3. Every time you go out to eat it will take (if you go to a bar or restaurant) at a MINIMUM an hour and half. This country likes to take their time and has no real concept of a schedule. If for example your boat/booze cruise is going to leave the docks at MOST LIKELY will take off closer to 11:30ish but you never know it could leave on time!! So be ready to bring your patience to every situation. 

*they are such a good looking couple!!! And would have VERY cute kids! 

4. It takes a LONG time to explain things in the Portuguese language. You think I talk a lot....I don't hold a candle next to ANYONE who speaks Portuguese. Their language just doesn't seem to work with the "one word" type answers. We would ask my brother and his girlfriend a question (like a pretty straight forward yes or no question). They would then turn to each other and go back and forth for a solid 2 minutes (I know I exaggerate at times....this is not one of those times) and then Andy would turn back over to us and go, "Awwwww....she said maybe" UH?! 

5. This is how you will look after every lunch....Lunch is your biggest meal. Get use to filling up at lunch because dinner is going to be a yogurt. I actually didn't mind this at all. I almost liked it better. It doesn't work with my current schedule at work but it was a nice change.

*Small spanish artist's town about 2 hours south of Angra with some very beautiful and color homes. 

Brazil is a beautiful, large and very interesting country. I couldn't recommend it more to people looking to really dive into a new culture and have a very relaxing vacation. I am so grateful I was able to share these experience with members of my family as everyone brought something fabulous to the table and made every moment that much better. 

Get out of your comfort zone and see the world. It makes you appreciate what we have here but makes you a better person in the end. 

Thursday, March 27, 2014


So we are back from Brazil! I am little tanner, wiser and tired. We are slowly trying to get back into the swing of things in real life but I am not ready to let go of the vacation yet. I plan to load up on self tanner to hold on to this glow as long as I can as well as get back on the weight watchers...all the cheese and bread is starting to catch up to yours truly. With all that said....drum roll please.....

So I give you our trip to BRAZIL!!!!! (as a disclaimer I promise this won't be as boring as looking at someone's slides from their Hawaiian vacation in the 1970's but it's not nearly as interesting as if you were there with us! So if you need to take a break from said blog posts I do understand)

Alex got a little excited about his vacation before we even took off from hour later and this is how I found him after I got back from buying plane snacks.....

 Day 1: Grab your coconut people and join in on the fun!!

And now I give you....the plane ride from hell! We got on the long leg of the flight from Charlotte to Rio at 10pm and sat on the plane for almost 2 hours while they said they had an "issue"....SHOT ME NOW! I took the little blue pills a little too early and was delirious by 11:30pm. That brown doughnut of a pillow was ZERO help at all. I should've taken better drugs!

Holy shit we just flew for 13 hours in a tin can and now we're in Brazil!!!!

First's hot. I mean like instantly need a shower after you walk outside kind hot but god damn it's beautiful!

Top four things that people in Rio and Brazilians in general embrace....

1. Carbs and cheese...they eat them for breakfast lunch and dinner.  The sprinkle bread crumbs on bread for christ sake. They LOVE the pao (bread in portuguese...I am going to teach you as you read)!

2. "I'm too sexy for my shirt" should be their theme song! Americans cover up and Brazilians take it off! All off and they have no issues at all with self imagine. Regardless what you look like the rule of thumb here is the smaller the item of clothing the better. Large women and men wearing next to nothing with fat rolls for days with not a care in the world eating bread and cheese and wearing tennie tiny bikini's and banana hammocks!

3. Drink em if you got em! You can stand and drink any where. On the weekends every where you look people are standing up against a wall drinking beer out of small glasses. It's their thing. Viva la booze!

*you can't see it in this picture but those guys have tall beers in their's 8:30am on a Sunday morning. Viva Viva la booze!!! This is the view from our posada on the first night in Rio. It felt like we could be any where in Europe. It was adorable!!!

4. are no one in Rio without a pair of havianana's. Super comfy flip flops that come in all shapes and colors. The expensive ones are about $18 US totally worth getting and for that money who cares if you loose them, rip them or ruin them in anyway. Go to the havaianas store in Leblon in Rio. Hands down the best selection and cheapest prices.

Within in the first 10 hours in Rio we walked, we saw and we ate. My brother led us on a fabulous death march around the city where we saw the gardens, climb a mountain, walked on Copacabana beach and had two very different but very fabulous meals all in the matter of what felt like 15 mins but luckily was stretched out over half the day and walking 8 1/2 miles. I wouldn't have traded a single moment of it in for the world.

*the public gardens in Brazil....BEAUTIFUL and LOTS OF SHADE!!!!! Which is KEY in this city if you are here in the summer time. The fountain shoots water straight at you when you step on the little peddle. Sneaky sneaky Brazil...sneaky sneaky!

*Next up....Cristo from the top of Sugar Loaf while the sun is setting. It's a total tourist trap but worth the $30 USD to go to the top and see the views of the city at sun set. If you have to do one thing that is super touristy in Rio, I would say this is it. 

*more shots from the top of sugar loaf...again worth the $$....screw going to see Cristo you can see him from every where in the city. Sugar Loaf people...Sugar Loaf. 

 Now this is hands down one of the BEST bars in all of Rio, it's in Leblon and it's a party. Great bar food, great Chopp (their version of tap beer) and just a really authentic, fun atmosphere. It was totally by accident we found this spot and I am so glad we did. 

*these are views from the roof top deck and dining space of our posada in Rio and a traditional Brazilian breakfast. If you take one thing away from a trip to Brazil it's how amazing the coffee and fruit are. You haven't tasted a mango until you get one there. They are so sweet, ripe and fresh you feel like you are really induleding in something but it's just ultra fresh fruit! 

Day 2:
And the adventure continues....we left Rio and drove about three hours south to Angra dos Reis.

It's a large sea side town that is surrounded by 365 mountainous islands.

On the way we stopped at the most fabulous cheese shop where they made sweets, cookies and a few different kinds of cheeses that are just amazing. Made from the cows milk that is on their small farm. Still wish I bought more of the homemade cookies with guava in the middle of them. Holy shit were those good. Sorry there are no picture of any of this. We were all a little "hangry" at this point in the three hour car ride.

I am going to leave you with this....We stayed at what looks like the Swiss family Robinson house on the ocean. It's this massive tree house that is multi level and built into the side of a hill on the ocean with a pool, sauna, wrap around double deck and dock where you can safely just dive into a blue green ocean that is like bath water, 80 + degrees!!!

*view from the top deck off the main house which has 4 bedrooms and two a suites.

*down the steps to the second level 

*tv/living room/ extra sleeping space

*view from the deck 

*spa room with steam room and sauna

Back side of the house, yet another horrible picture. The water in the ocean is warmer that the water in the pool! Pinch me I'm dreaming!

More to come.....