Thursday, November 6, 2014

Holy Smokes it's Nov!!!!

Where did the time go people?!?! I have started five or six different blog posts over the past few months and nothing has stuck. Mainly because my life, my fabulous life feels little like that stupid card game we all played as kids where someone throws up 52 cards in the air and you have to pick them up?!?! Who thought of that and why are we are gullible enough to do it?!?!

With so many things buzzing and whirling around in my life (in a great way) I have forgotten to make time to write and to also forgotten to make time to do kettlebells in the morning. Since moving into my apartment I have only done this twice!! I need to get back on the kettle bell wagon because with the holidays literally around the corner I can feel my pants getting tighter with each little bite!

As most of you know I moved this year and with a move comes one of my favorite October games to play...."How many Trick or Treaters will I get!??!" Since I am a glass is overflowing type of gal I assumed I would have a line out the door and down the block so I bought bags of candy. Bags of GOOD candy. Candy I would want to eat (mistake number 1). I bought said candy about a week before halloween because I TOLD MYSELF, "The stores might run out"  (mistake number 2 and 3) **Note to self no stores will EVER run out of candy and buying candy early is just dangling the carrot right in front of my face.....if you have been following along you know I have ZERO self control with food. ZZZZZZ.....EEEEEEEEE.....RRRRRR.....OOOOO!

So after one long cold walk home from the train that week I decided to self medicate with fun size candy bars. Oh the flood gates were open people. So night after night I watched in total horror as the candy bowl slowly went on the night of Halloween I went back to the store and bought some more candy. This time I bought things I don't like (which isn't much let's be honest) in hopes I wouldn't eat THAT much of it. I 100% opened every bag I bought and taste tested everything and then threw out most of the samples saying out loud, "Not worth the Weight Watchers Points!!" It's kind of like when you see a "don't touch" or "wet paint" sign and you have to touch it.....I had to try them. Blow Pops weren't great in the early 90's and they aren't great now!

That night I ran home and sat at the front door just waiting for the little kids to come lining up! This is the first time in a long time I've lived in an actual house in a neighborhood. This could be kid-a-plooza 2014!!!!

Welp I had 8.....yes 8 trick or treaters and one of them wouldn't even put his mask on! I may or may not have been on my third cocktail by time these teenagers rolled on up and  I may or may not have said, "Trick or Treat! Wait, put your mask on if you want candy kid!"

Kid....just looking at me like he doesn't understand English

Me, a little more sassy, "Put the le masko on-o if you want candyo"

Kid, looks down at my VERY full candy bowl, sticks his little hand in and grabbed three blow pops. If it were snickers I would have swatted his hand away but since it was those blow pops (who wants a blow pop again I ask you) I let it slide!

KIDS THESE DAYS!!!! Pssssssshhhhhhhh!!

The boyfriend and I spent the rest of the evening doing a pumpkin beer tasting, toasting pumpkin seeds and playing a few INTENSE rounds of farckle by my a pumpkin candle. I figured it was a great send off to the month of October.

Dear Fall....

How I love you! You're beautiful colors, pumpkin spice everything and of course being able to lay around watching endless shows on Netflix, sipping tea, knitting, snuggling and not feeling a tad bit guilty about it. But I hate getting sick. And as of right now I am officially drowning in my own snot. I am not very good at being sick. I require a lot of pity, attention and sleep. Every night this week I have been in bed by 8pm and asleep by 8:30....thank you Nyquil and Sleepytime Tea! Thank you!

So with fall comes the colder weather. So far we, up here in New England, have had a pretty mild start to the great freeze ahead. We all know it's coming. Endless nights of below zero weather, bundling up like a zit about to pop with lots of wool and PRAYING for sun shine and no wind chills.

Sunday night I came into my apartment and found a little surprise. The heat wasn't on. It was FREEZING. I mean like penguins are about to move in freezing. I think it could have easily been about 50 degrees. I turned the heat ALL the way up and just waited.....waiting turned into hoping which then turned into swearing and then became acceptance that it was going to be a VERY cold night in casa de beth. SHIT!

I piled on the blankets, put on a very comfy hoodie, wool hat and some fingerless mittens, took some sleepy cold pills and drifted off into a drug induced como. Woke up all snuggly toasty warm and had immediate flash backs of being a teenager and not wanting to get out of bed to go to school. I haven't lived in a cold apartment with hardwood floors in years. There is something so fabulous about being extra snuggly in bed when the room is cold but not when it's Monday morning at 6:25am. Nope, nope that is hell! That go on the list of things I truly hate.

- Hate list updated.....

*People being late to things (that keep me waiting)
*Waking up early in a very cold room when I am snuggly warm
*Long lines for anything
*Being hangry with no food insight
*Running out of water to drink
*Traffic (did I say that already)
*Bad weather at an airport when I have to be some the start of a vacation kind of some where (ooooooo that's a good one!!)

So I manned up and called my landlord to figure out what's wrong with the heating system. I have steam heat. I don't know how the steam is made but some where in that creepy basement below me steam is created and then set up (loudly) into my fabulous apartment with tall ceiling and lots of windows.

My landlord finally called me back later that afternoon,,,,

Very nice landlord, "Hey Beth! So it looks like I forgot to tell you that you have Oil Heating"

Me "huh?!"

Landlord, "Yeah you need to call and get some oil for the heating system"

Me, "Seriously?! How much is that?"

Landlord, "ummmmm it changes all the time but it's about $3.50 a gallon right now"

Me, "WHAT?! Soooooooo how many gallons do I need?? 10?"

Landlord, "HA! Ooooooh no! The tank is about 250 and you will need to fill it up every other month during the cold months"

Me, "I am going to officially freeze to death"

Next DayCalled the oil guy he recommended. 8 hours later Mr. Jackson called me back....

Mr Jackson (in a THICK Boston accent), "Hi There! I'm Mistah Jackson! So how can I help ya!"

Me, "I am cold! I need oil and I have no money. What can you do for me?"

MJ, "Have you checked the Boilah? Is there Watah in the tank? Is there oil in the tank?"

Me, "No because I am scared of the basement and won't set foot in there alone."

MJ, "ummmmm ok dearah! Are you home now?"

Me, "No I am stuck at work and won't be home until after 7 tonight"

MJ, "Yikes! That's late! How about tomorrah? I'll come by around 6 and take a look at the Boilah!"

Oh great! So not only am I sick but now I have to go down into the creepy basement and look at a Boilah! GREAT! So far this week is 275 Beth 2.

Last Night: Mr. Jackson came right on time, went through everything really quickly. I manned up and went downstairs in the creepy basement with him which is still super creepy and then figured out that I will not be able to afford to eat for the rest of my life because I need to heat my apartment. HOLY SHIT OIL IS EXPENSIVE!!! So $458.75 later I now own 125 gallons of pure black gold, texas tea! (as theme song to the Beverly Hills Hillbillies said) which apparently will only last hold on to your seats people....ONE MONTH. Yep, ONE FREAKING MONTH!!!!!

As those words came out of his mouth I looked up at my high ceilings, large windows and thought...SHIT! I am so screwed! So now I completely understand why people keep their homes at a brisk 60 degrees in the winter time because IT'S SO FREAKING EXPENSIVE TO HEAT!!!!!! I had no idea how good I had it with plush wall to wall carpets and forced hot air and a/c in that gosh darn condo!

So word to the wise if you come to my apartment at all this winter...bundle up people because yours truly is about to try and set the world record for making 125 gallons of oil last as long as humanly possible. I think I may need to buy another space heater or 10.

Week 733.75 Beth -10 (ate more Halloween candy)

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Turning over a new leaf

A few weekends ago I did something I haven't done in a long time. Nothing all day. Might have been partially do to being a little "dehydrated" as my mom likes to call it. Please read: hung over and sleep deprived. But either way I didn't do much of anything. Spent the afternoon reading in the sun, cataloging my yarn (yes I know.... What a WILD AND CRAZY life I lead!) as best I could and watching endless episodes of Law and Order on Netflix. But here's the real kicker. My favorite yarn store was having the most killer sale (20% - 50% EVERYTHING IN THE STORE) and I didn't go. Why? Great question.... because I have too many projects to do right now and I am broke. Very very broke.

For the past month I have been "trying" to live within this budget I drew up for myself and finding it utterly impossible. I mean like TOTALLY impossible. I am a social butterfly who likes expensive things and unfortunately my pay check does not agree with this life style at all. Looks like I need to go back to my old motto (which I don't really think I followed when I wrote it 10 years ago because some how I have $12k in credit card debt and just some hand bags and shoes to show for it.....DAMN YOU CARRIE BRADSHAW!!!!!) "living fabulously within my means". 

This actually needs to be applied to my life much sooner than later because people I have big news. HUGE NEWS! Nope I am not pregnant or engaged...nope nope nope...I found an apartment! Last month I started "looking" to see what's out there and I realized that there isn't much in my price range. After a few weeks of window shopping places online and some SCARY Craigslist replies I had a sinking feeling that I was going to end up living in Chinatown in a windowless basement apartment that smelled like kung pao chicken and fish heads.

About an month ago I was having lunch and cocktails with my fabulous friend Jacqui, who suggested I check out an apartment in Savin Hill. Her friend was looking for a roommate and she thought I would just love the location plus it didn't hurt that the price was cheap. I mean like REALLY cheap. (Please note....I would rather lick a homeless person than live with someone again at this moment in time) I said, "Sure I'll check it out!".  So after a few back and forth "hi how are you text messages" I found myself on a Friday afternoon in front of this turn of the century home in Dorchester.

 It looked like it was converted to apartments in the late 70's. There was a decent amount of street parking, a hip bar across the street and walking distance to the red line....not horrible.... And then I walked inside the place.....The gal who was showing me the place main selling point was "there is a cop who is ALWAYS on that street corner 24 hours a day so you should feel sort of safe walking home from the t or parking your car at night" (god help me, Toto, Looks like we're not in Kansas any more). Oh and let's not forget she was looking for roommates (PLURAL!!!!), so far the contestants were Yours Truly and a 23 year old Gay Grad Student who she claims was shy and didn't make a sound. (i.e. will be bringing home random guys every other night and then crying in his room while cutting himself later) and the cherry on this sundae....she had a BLIND mini pincher who was named pumpkin. The dog had just eye sockets, no balls...just sockets. And well people that's just a nightmare waiting to happen. I could just picture myself waking up in the middle of the night screaming after pumpkin had taken a wrong turn and wandered into my bedroom. He would climb up onto my bed and then just be "staring" at me. Yikes!

The search for the "perfect" apartment was starting to look pretty grim seeing everything that was half way decent and not on the corner of drive by street and hooker alley was $1500 to $1800 a month. Which is waaaaaaaay out of my price range. That is until I saw this apartment come up on the MLS listings. I knew I had to jump on it. The area it's in is great! It's filled with old Victorian homes that are now converted into duplexes, on the T Line (the subway here in the Boston Area), the town has a couple of restaurants and bars I don't hate, near the groceries stores I like, a few good friends are just blocks away and still close enough to the highway. It's a little more than I can afford but for 1000 sq feet, a little porch and lots of sun light it sounded like paradise....I hadn't even seen it in person yet and I was already in love. I called the guy who was listing it right away and made an appointment to see it as soon as possible that week. When I got there to view the place I found out half of the suburbs also wanted to come by and see it! I was one of 22 people putting in an application to rent this apartment. WTF?!? It almost felt like I was holding the last pair of drop dead beautiful Tory Burch heels that I know I shouldn't buy and can't afford  but because 22 other people want them I know HAVE TO HAVE THEM!!!!!

So after walking through the apartment with the other people like a herd of cattle I just knew I had to have it. I couldn't even begin to tell you what the space looks like or how much room I really have but at the time I knew it was PERFECT! 

So with a little help from people who love me, a lot of hope that the condo will sell asap and a leap of faith I am moving. Moving in 5 short days..... And with moving comes....drum roll please...PACKING! God what a total nightmare this is. If I was a hoarder I think I would have jumped into the Charles River by now but lucky for me I have very little emotional attachment to any possessions, just people so I keep throwing away bags and bags of stuff that I have been holding on to for years.

I tend to keep things for the "just in case I might......(fill in the blank with ANY, I mean ANY scenario at all! Zombie Apocalypse (check), Being whisked away by George Clooney on a yacht in the Mediterranean (check) The list can go on and on but I think you get the idea). I stumbled across ALL of my journals and poetry from 1991 - 1998. Oh sweet baby jesus what the hell was I thinking keeping this stuff?! I have lugged these across this great country twice and now two moves in the Boston Area for what?! To listen to my 13 year old self talk about how I got grounded for 6 months from stealing nail polish at a Rite Aid. Or how my parents "just don't get it!?" I still don't get "it"! And yet here they come to Malden!!

I have tossed A LOT of crap and I think also acquired much more stuff thanks to my mom and the worlds best step father. The two of them cleaned out their basement as well as some other family members and friends who are all donating to the "Beth needs furniture" Fund. Currently we are accepting donations for a funky coffee table (think Restoration Hardware), couch (would like something Mid Century Modernish) and possibly a small kitchen table with chairs. (not sure about this one though because again I was only in the apartment for literally a minute and said I would take it!)

That's what's been going on in my life as of right now. Well that and.....I've also starting to date again...I'm currently dating a really great guy who makes me smile so much my face hurts all the time but more on that later! 

Monday, July 21, 2014

You're Wild Colorado.....

Before I get into the Colorado trip I have a confession to make....I just ate two full lunches! What the heck is that about?!?! I guess I was hungry! And the sad thing is that I am not even painfully full! Looks like yours truly is working out tomorrow morning!! Glad I got that off my chest!

Ok back to the task at hand......DENVER!!!!!!

Denver was a week filled with LOTS AND LOTS of super rad family time which is exactly what I needed after such a wacky few months here in Boston. A lot of people think I am crazy in that good way or at least I tell myself that. There's just something super special about being with 30 or so people who are equally as crazy as I am and that really make me just normal.

*My favorite person on this planet!

*My other favorite people on this planet.


*tapping the rockies!

What a trip! I am back, in one piece and looking even more fabulous then when I left. My hair is now honey bronde (yep that's a not a real word but it's like if blonde and brown had a baby....) I basically look like Jenny from the Block. Holla at your girl!

ANNNNNNNNND, much to my mothers dismay, I got my first ( ear muffs....I know not my last) tattoo! I'm sorry mama! I can feel your disappointment oozing through the computer as I type this.

There is NOTHING that can prepare you for your first tattoo. I mean NOTHING. I must have asked every single person I saw for months what it felt like. Some people said it didn't hurt at all....well those assholes lied. Others said it felt like someone scratching a sun burn. No one in my life was EVER mean enough to do that to me so I couldn't imagine what that felt like but I don't think it was that either. To be honest I cried when I got my flu shot this year so I knew this wasn't going to be a walk in the park. I also knew that I REALLLLLLLLLY wanted it so I had to man up. There was no one else in this world I trusted to do this (and by trusted I mean would put up with me and my squealing) than my cousin-in-law, Dean. He's calm, patient and VERY talented.

Everyone meet Dean! :) He's the one in the white. Dean meet everyone!

I did all the right things you are suppose to do before getting ink (yeah I am so hardcore now...I have the lingo down!). Don't drink any booze (check), don't take anything that will thin your blood (check), eat before you go (CHECK CHECK, like this was ever going to be a problem) and drink a lot of water (check). I did forget to bring snacks (fail) but thank god for my cousin because he did (which I am guessing was his lunch) and let me snack away on everything like it was my last meal on earth. He's a SAINT. A GOD DAMN SAINT!

As my brother is dropping me off at his shop in downtown Denver ( He goes, "So Mom wanted me to talk you out of this and thinks you're going to pass out. But I think it's pretty bad ass" God I love my brother! 

15 mins later at the shop.....

Dean puts the stencil on and goes (in his ADORABLE British accent) "Alright are you ready?" 

Me, "Oh sure!" 



*Dean stops after doing a single tiny tiny line

Deano, "You ok?"

Me "Yeah I think so"


Me "OH GOD! I think I'm going to pass out!"

*shit my mom WAS right

Saint Dean, "You know let's take a break. I can go as slow as you want" 

Me "It's going to be like this the whole time uh?" 

Saint Dean, "Well....ummmmm...."

Me "Ok let's try again...."

The Saint "Ok...."


10 seconds later.......

I guess this is the moment all of the color drained from my face and I looked like I really was going to pass out so the other dudes in the shop brought out a big industrial fan and put it right on me. Then got me a few bottles of cold water, a cold rag for my neck and a lollipop to get my blood sugar back up. All I could think was, "Shit! It's going to be a long afternoon! 

*This start/stop pace continued for the entire outline WHICH WAS DONE IN WATER because this piece (again so hardcore with the lingo) was going to look as much like a water color as humanly possible! So after about an hour and a half (which my guess for any normal person would've only taken about a half hour but because I stopped every two seconds I dragged it out a little more) of pure pain I looked down and saw nothing because again he's outlining me in WATER! So sad. But so necessary so he can see the stencil once he starts filling in the color. 

Let me just say again.....The outline killed. I mean KILLED. I still don't know how I got through it. Saint Deano was SO SWEET and as gentle as possible. We look a lot of breaks and he even did yoga breathing with me at one point (this part may or may not be true...I was fading in out a tiny bit) 

Once we got to the color part of this bad boy it did go much faster and wasn't NEARLY as painful.  I eventually manned up a little bit more once my cousin Kevin got there. I knew with him and his NEW WIFE V, welcome to the family sister, I couldn't wimp out. MAN UP! 

Dean did/does SUCH beautiful work and I can't wait to get more pieces by him. My whole left arm is yours my love! If you in the Denver area and want to get a tattoo please go see him, He's such WONDERFUL artist! Love you Deano! 

So that was Denver in a nut shell. Smoothies in the am, family, tattoos, yoga boot camp from hell and a lot of laughs.  I'll be back in September for more family fun....and maybe another tattoo. Sorry mom! :) 

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

It takes a lot of little steps to walk a marathon

At this very moment my life is not a sprint but a very slow emotional marathon. I am a very "go go go" type gal. I love being spontaneous and grabbing life by the balls. I love "ripping off the band aid" and let the healing process start as soon as humanly possible. This is one of the first times in a long time I don't have the luxury. Don't get me wrong here I am VERY happy about the decisions I have made over the past month and the healing process has begun. I know that "every step" is going in the right direction, its just that for once in my life I just don't know where that direction is and it's kind of exciting.

Yesterday I put the condo on the market. If anyone is looking for a little slice of heaven outside the Boston area have I got the place for you!!! For the low low price of $234,000.00 this once in a life time dream could be yours!! Parking spot and all!

Ok that being said over the past year I have noticed a lot of people doing the #100happydays. I like to think of myself as my "glass is over flowing" type of chick but I do have days where I want to crawl in a hole and hide. I wake up every morning and make a solid effort to put myself in a good mood. To try and find the positive but a lot of times it's easier said than done.

I don't want to get all preachy here but I think for right now in my life #100happydays seems like a REALLY good idea. I decided to do this via Instagram,, so feel free to follow along. 100 days from now I don't know where I will be living or who I will be smiling at but I do know that regardless I will be a hell of a lot happier.

So as all of you as my's to being happy! :)

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Rocky Mountain High

Now that pot is legal in this fine state (Colorado) three words have never been more true! I haven't smoked pot in years. I NEVER need help being hungry, sleepy and silly all at the same time. The last time I did smoke, about 6 years ago I bought a dime bag (which I found out doesn't cost $10 anymore!!!) from a sound guy at TT's, a dive rock club I worked at, and spent the better half of two hours and a full pack of rolling papers to roll one joint that I believe a blind 7 year old could've done better. I woke up the next day to find myself passed out with one hand in a bag of cheese Doritos and the other with a half eaten Snickers bar. Making mom proud!

I would say that almost every time I have ever smoked pot about two hours in I decide I don't want to be stoned any more and attempt to eat myself sober which NEVER works and it's not like I am trying to eat my body weight in baby carrots here people. It's more like housing a large pizza and enough candy bars to make an 11 year old sick to their stomach.

The reason I tell you this little fun fact is that in 2 days I will be sunny, warm, dry, Denver, Colorado surrounded by my very large, loving and very loud family. I can't think of a better way to spend a week off. If you knew my family you would be VERY jealous right now. Picture about 25 different versions of myself all in one room. Talk about heaven on earth right!?

There is something about spending time with family that leaves you feeling relaxed and like you need a vacation from your vacation all at the same time. I can't wait! Much more to come....

Monday, June 23, 2014

Flipping the Script

Well I have to say I didn't see this one coming. There you are, hopelessly in love thinking this is the person I am going to be spending the rest of my life with and then one day it's over. No, Alex is not dead nor is he sick with some sort of terminal disease. But we have decided to go our separate ways in life though. I have realized it's much easier to break up with someone you hate then it is to walk away from a really good guy.

Why are we calling it quits after 6 years? Because ultimately we want two totally different things with life. I want marriage and kids. He doesn't. There is more to the story then that but that's the basic plot line. The only reason I am writing this right now is to help me. It has nothing to do with
"putting myself out there" or "sharing my experiences with my others like me". No it's for a very plain and simple selfish reason. I need to write. It's a huge part of who I am and how I cope.

Some of you may or may not know this but I have written a few books, nothing is published so no need to run out to your local book store (but still hopeful for the future). The theme of all of them is dating, love, funny crap that happens in my life and heart break. It's easier to write about the times when the pain is at it's worst then when you are laughing till your crying. The reason being is because you forget to take time to write when you are having fun. You are too busy living.

Right now I am on week 2 of this whole new chapter in life and I have to say it's not a walk in the park. BUT I want to take a moment to thank my friends and family who have really stepped up and threw themselves into my life. You have ALL called, texted and hugged me every few hours of last week when I needed it the most and truly made every moment that much easier. The "just thinking about you" texts, extending your guest bedrooms for LONG periods of time and phone calls really do/does make a huge difference. I know saying thank you isn't enough but it's all I can think of at this moment.

The bottom line is I decided to put myself first. And even though I am very sad I am also excited at the same time. Don't be sad for me. Be happy and get ready to share and hear about MANY MANY MANY more exciting adventures to come. So there is no reason to say, "I am so sorry to hear this" be excited for me. I am not dead yet!

P.s. on a totally different note if you live in the Boston area and I have a FABU apartment you would like me to live in and give you $650 a month please let me know. :)