Thursday, November 6, 2014

Holy Smokes it's Nov!!!!

Where did the time go people?!?! I have started five or six different blog posts over the past few months and nothing has stuck. Mainly because my life, my fabulous life feels little like that stupid card game we all played as kids where someone throws up 52 cards in the air and you have to pick them up?!?! Who thought of that and why are we are gullible enough to do it?!?!

With so many things buzzing and whirling around in my life (in a great way) I have forgotten to make time to write and to also forgotten to make time to do kettlebells in the morning. Since moving into my apartment I have only done this twice!! I need to get back on the kettle bell wagon because with the holidays literally around the corner I can feel my pants getting tighter with each little bite!

As most of you know I moved this year and with a move comes one of my favorite October games to play...."How many Trick or Treaters will I get!??!" Since I am a glass is overflowing type of gal I assumed I would have a line out the door and down the block so I bought bags of candy. Bags of GOOD candy. Candy I would want to eat (mistake number 1). I bought said candy about a week before halloween because I TOLD MYSELF, "The stores might run out"  (mistake number 2 and 3) **Note to self no stores will EVER run out of candy and buying candy early is just dangling the carrot right in front of my face.....if you have been following along you know I have ZERO self control with food. ZZZZZZ.....EEEEEEEEE.....RRRRRR.....OOOOO!

So after one long cold walk home from the train that week I decided to self medicate with fun size candy bars. Oh the flood gates were open people. So night after night I watched in total horror as the candy bowl slowly went on the night of Halloween I went back to the store and bought some more candy. This time I bought things I don't like (which isn't much let's be honest) in hopes I wouldn't eat THAT much of it. I 100% opened every bag I bought and taste tested everything and then threw out most of the samples saying out loud, "Not worth the Weight Watchers Points!!" It's kind of like when you see a "don't touch" or "wet paint" sign and you have to touch it.....I had to try them. Blow Pops weren't great in the early 90's and they aren't great now!

That night I ran home and sat at the front door just waiting for the little kids to come lining up! This is the first time in a long time I've lived in an actual house in a neighborhood. This could be kid-a-plooza 2014!!!!

Welp I had 8.....yes 8 trick or treaters and one of them wouldn't even put his mask on! I may or may not have been on my third cocktail by time these teenagers rolled on up and  I may or may not have said, "Trick or Treat! Wait, put your mask on if you want candy kid!"

Kid....just looking at me like he doesn't understand English

Me, a little more sassy, "Put the le masko on-o if you want candyo"

Kid, looks down at my VERY full candy bowl, sticks his little hand in and grabbed three blow pops. If it were snickers I would have swatted his hand away but since it was those blow pops (who wants a blow pop again I ask you) I let it slide!

KIDS THESE DAYS!!!! Pssssssshhhhhhhh!!

The boyfriend and I spent the rest of the evening doing a pumpkin beer tasting, toasting pumpkin seeds and playing a few INTENSE rounds of farckle by my a pumpkin candle. I figured it was a great send off to the month of October.

Dear Fall....

How I love you! You're beautiful colors, pumpkin spice everything and of course being able to lay around watching endless shows on Netflix, sipping tea, knitting, snuggling and not feeling a tad bit guilty about it. But I hate getting sick. And as of right now I am officially drowning in my own snot. I am not very good at being sick. I require a lot of pity, attention and sleep. Every night this week I have been in bed by 8pm and asleep by 8:30....thank you Nyquil and Sleepytime Tea! Thank you!

So with fall comes the colder weather. So far we, up here in New England, have had a pretty mild start to the great freeze ahead. We all know it's coming. Endless nights of below zero weather, bundling up like a zit about to pop with lots of wool and PRAYING for sun shine and no wind chills.

Sunday night I came into my apartment and found a little surprise. The heat wasn't on. It was FREEZING. I mean like penguins are about to move in freezing. I think it could have easily been about 50 degrees. I turned the heat ALL the way up and just waited.....waiting turned into hoping which then turned into swearing and then became acceptance that it was going to be a VERY cold night in casa de beth. SHIT!

I piled on the blankets, put on a very comfy hoodie, wool hat and some fingerless mittens, took some sleepy cold pills and drifted off into a drug induced como. Woke up all snuggly toasty warm and had immediate flash backs of being a teenager and not wanting to get out of bed to go to school. I haven't lived in a cold apartment with hardwood floors in years. There is something so fabulous about being extra snuggly in bed when the room is cold but not when it's Monday morning at 6:25am. Nope, nope that is hell! That go on the list of things I truly hate.

- Hate list updated.....

*People being late to things (that keep me waiting)
*Waking up early in a very cold room when I am snuggly warm
*Long lines for anything
*Being hangry with no food insight
*Running out of water to drink
*Traffic (did I say that already)
*Bad weather at an airport when I have to be some the start of a vacation kind of some where (ooooooo that's a good one!!)

So I manned up and called my landlord to figure out what's wrong with the heating system. I have steam heat. I don't know how the steam is made but some where in that creepy basement below me steam is created and then set up (loudly) into my fabulous apartment with tall ceiling and lots of windows.

My landlord finally called me back later that afternoon,,,,

Very nice landlord, "Hey Beth! So it looks like I forgot to tell you that you have Oil Heating"

Me "huh?!"

Landlord, "Yeah you need to call and get some oil for the heating system"

Me, "Seriously?! How much is that?"

Landlord, "ummmmm it changes all the time but it's about $3.50 a gallon right now"

Me, "WHAT?! Soooooooo how many gallons do I need?? 10?"

Landlord, "HA! Ooooooh no! The tank is about 250 and you will need to fill it up every other month during the cold months"

Me, "I am going to officially freeze to death"

Next DayCalled the oil guy he recommended. 8 hours later Mr. Jackson called me back....

Mr Jackson (in a THICK Boston accent), "Hi There! I'm Mistah Jackson! So how can I help ya!"

Me, "I am cold! I need oil and I have no money. What can you do for me?"

MJ, "Have you checked the Boilah? Is there Watah in the tank? Is there oil in the tank?"

Me, "No because I am scared of the basement and won't set foot in there alone."

MJ, "ummmmm ok dearah! Are you home now?"

Me, "No I am stuck at work and won't be home until after 7 tonight"

MJ, "Yikes! That's late! How about tomorrah? I'll come by around 6 and take a look at the Boilah!"

Oh great! So not only am I sick but now I have to go down into the creepy basement and look at a Boilah! GREAT! So far this week is 275 Beth 2.

Last Night: Mr. Jackson came right on time, went through everything really quickly. I manned up and went downstairs in the creepy basement with him which is still super creepy and then figured out that I will not be able to afford to eat for the rest of my life because I need to heat my apartment. HOLY SHIT OIL IS EXPENSIVE!!! So $458.75 later I now own 125 gallons of pure black gold, texas tea! (as theme song to the Beverly Hills Hillbillies said) which apparently will only last hold on to your seats people....ONE MONTH. Yep, ONE FREAKING MONTH!!!!!

As those words came out of his mouth I looked up at my high ceilings, large windows and thought...SHIT! I am so screwed! So now I completely understand why people keep their homes at a brisk 60 degrees in the winter time because IT'S SO FREAKING EXPENSIVE TO HEAT!!!!!! I had no idea how good I had it with plush wall to wall carpets and forced hot air and a/c in that gosh darn condo!

So word to the wise if you come to my apartment at all this winter...bundle up people because yours truly is about to try and set the world record for making 125 gallons of oil last as long as humanly possible. I think I may need to buy another space heater or 10.

Week 733.75 Beth -10 (ate more Halloween candy)