THE YEAR OF BETH!!!!!! (Yes, from Seinfeld....)

Alright so I am so bad with keeping up with my writing which is pretty obvious since the last time I wrote on here was 2011...one of my goals for 2013 was to write every week on here or any where for that matter so here I go (one month late, better late then never!). I have been reading so many different blogs it's inspired me to get back to mine!

Just like my recent inspiration to try self tanner again....one of my friends from work came back from his vacation looking like a totally different race! He went from Mexican to African American in a week of fun in the sun! This inspired me to play with self tanner (as my friend Heather Ladner once said when we were laying out in Meredith's back yard in high school, "If you can't tone it, tan it!" Words to live by)....I now look like an streaky over stuffed ompa lompa! It's not a good look for anyone.

So here I am and here you are, YAY! Besides relaying hysterical anticdoets from my life on here I think I am also going to include my workout goals for the week as a way to keep myself accountable for it because lately when that alarm goes off at 5:45 in the morning I just roll back over and snuggle back into bed, even if I can't fall back asleep! If I put it on here I am hoping that the utter shame I would feel by LYING to you guys and not going to the gym will motivate me enough to get out of bed in the morning. Because to be honest trying to look good in a bathing suite for our Mexico vacation in a few weeks is 100% NOT ENOUGH to motivate me get my butt to the gym or stop eating Doritos!

Weekly Workout for this Week......

Sun - Zumba
Mon - Kettle Bells
Tues - Off
Wed - Gym
Thurs - Kettle Bells
Fri - Off
Sat - Kettle Bells

It feels good to be back! Just heard that the large rat in Pennsylvania did not see his shadow so bring it on Spring! It's going to be a good day friends. Off to the grocery store to do the weekly shopping! Hope you all have a fabulous weekend and looking forward to hanging out with all of you on here MUCH more often. I promise!

xoxoxo

This week 2, beth 0

Alright so Monday...no one is really a fan of Mondays. We all have our own version of what a Monday is. When you bartend it could be that Friday is your Monday. Or maybe in retail Saturday is your Monday. Either Mondays suck and mine was no shorting in the "sucking department" this week.

So there I am up at 6 am back in the gym, getting my fitness on...attempting to at least. My gym is right next to my office so I pack my gym bag the night before with all my work clothes so I can literally roll out of bed and go.

Well after my workout I notice that I forgot my god damn flip flops for the gym shower! Between my mother being a little wacky with germs and it being ingrained in my head in 7th grade gym class foot fungus is alive and well on all gym bathroom floors. I have size 10 feet they aren't perfect but they are way too cute to get foot fungus I'll tell you that.

My simple solution you ask....I wear my socks in the shower! Ha ha ha ha it's all I could think of to do. The entire time I showered on my tippy toes with socks on! Yep doesn't get much better than that on a Monday.

Oh but wait it totally does get better....ready for this one?!?! It's Friday! Yay happy Friday all! Again here I am up at 6 am arm loads of crap to take down to my car and to boot its 100% snowed last night! I'm scrapping ice off my car and still wiping sleep from my eyes. It's not too bad of a drive into the gym I'm going to do a quick workout and then head into work because I have a 9 am meeting and it's Friday!

Go to get out of my car and grab my gym bag with all my work stuff...oh wait where's my gym bag!?!? IT IS AT MY GOD HOUSE on my living room floor where I left it!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

As we speak Alex is driving to meet me with said bag half way from our house and the gym because traffic is so bad in the morning that there is no way in hell I'd make it back in time and then to my office.

So he's amazing and this is a great way to end my work week!

OH TOTAL SIDE NOTE HERE.....

I get to work, have to change in the my car in the parking garage (no time to shower). Get all the way upstairs and realize THAT MY PANTS HAD SPLIT DOWN THE MIDDLE!!! I am drinking a bottle of wine tonight!

I have to tell the truth....

As all of you as my witness I have fallen so far of the ww (weight watchers) wagon and hit every bump in the road...*which I do believe mine bumps are made out of chocolate, take out thai food, red wine and the occasionally glasses of whiskey* (and by occasionally I mean every weekend) That not only have I managed to gain back the 13 lbs I lost but I did it in record time.

My acceptance speech would go something like this... I would like to thank the food network for putting skinny people on your tv shows while explaining how yummy there favorite thing to eat in the world is which is my guess about 10,000 calories of fun and god knows if they eat it and look like they do maybe if I eat a lasagna sandwich (yes it is a real thing) I would look like them too! I would also like to thank my best friend called boredom and being on vacation all summer long....while I know I am an emotional eater I have also discovered in the little crazy thing called life "when left to my own devices alone all day I will eat myself out of house and home one little bite at a time..."

So moral of the story I find comfort in not just comfort foods but any kind of food! The battle of the bulge continues on. But riddle me this....how the hell can you say no to good times out with friends, brand new restaurants that are calling my name and special occasions which all seem to a. revolve around food; b. happen every weekend and c. (most importantly) happen EVERY SINGLE TIME I TELL MYSELF TO GET BACK ON THIS DAMN DIET!

So thus my struggle with the eternal battle of the bulge. On a positive note I didn't throw out a lot of my clothes when I lost the weight so I don't have to buy a new wardrobe again (god that would be depressing) and since my mom now weighs the same as Kate Moss (god that IS depressing but good for you mom) she can pass all of her old double digit sizes to yours truly....

~Much love you tubby friend on the North Shore....sweater season is upon us....

P.s. Note to self bulky sweaters make chubby people look even worse! I am screwed and going to the gym VERY SOON...and by very soon I mean Thursday morning. *fingers crossed

Because it's funny....

I wanted to share this with the rest of you...

So the other day, Sunday, I was making breakfast and was cutting up a pepper to toss in this scramble I was making. So after I cut the peppers I was cleaning up and touched my face. All of the sudden EVERYTHING started burning...my hands, my cheek...I  must have accidentally touched the inside of my nose at some point and that was the end of it. The inside of my nose would not stop burning! I had to stick my nose in a glass of milk to make it stop burning. My eyes were watering so bad for no joke about five minutes straight.

No one (we had some friends up for the weekend) was paying attention to me in the kitchen while I was cooking and all of the sudden my buddy looks over at me, tears are now streaming down my face and I have a paper towel soaked in milk shoved up my nose, and he goes, "Holy shit! Are you ok?!?"

Needless to say it stopped burning and thank god I didn't touch anything else but lesson learned!!!!

Sometimes I surprise myself....

Last week I truly hit a new, I am not going to call it a "low" but more a new level of crazy. About two weeks ago my mom started her quest/obsession for the "perfect" fall boot. A few emails, nordstrom's and zappo's links later she had made her decision. I have to say her and Gwyneth Paltrow (she was wearing the same ones in a vogue ad) will look very fashionable this fall. So of course I wasn't too far behind in my own personal quest. "Enjoying my staycation", please see not working at this current moment in time, was not going to hold me back from maxing out a credit card in order to look extremely fashionable as well this fall.

This brings me to this time last week. My little brother was working on my couch and every time I spoke he would try to ignore me in hopes of getting some work done. After two episodes of Law and Order later my mind was wandering and I began to hunt the internet for the perfect boot. Oh Zappo's VIP....how I love thee!!!! Let me count the ways...Free Over Night Shipping (check!), Free Speedy Returns (check!) and of course refunding my credit card within four days of me sending the return (check!!!!). AMAZING! I found two pairs of very cute boots on Zappos. One was this really pretty Frye boot on deep deep discount. Soft beaten light brown leather, over the knee and about 60% off. There was only one pair left in my size so I figured why the hell not! Plus OVER NIGHT SHIPPING!!!! So if they don't work back they go!

Andy (my little brother) and I were driving up to NH the next day to see some family and I knew we were leaving early. I didn't want to leave the boots at home because I need instant gratification AND Alex might be like "Where the hell did she get the money to buy two VERY large pairs of boots from Zappo's after not having a job for two months". This is a very valid question and I gotta say he wouldn't necessarily be mad more just curious. I was PRAYING Andy would sleep in a little bit. He was doing back flips out of bed by nine and ready to hit the road by nine thirty! I kept running to the front window every ten minutes looking for the UPS man ( I mean, person, I don't want to discriminate here) while he was getting ready. Finally I knew I couldn't stall this any longer.

We get out to my car and as I am pulling out of the drive way what flies on by in front of us? A UPS truck! It stops two blocks over and without even thinking I start driving towards the truck. Andy looks at me and says, "Are you really going to do what I think you are going to do?" I just give him a knowing glance and that was enough for him to start laughing.

I pull in back of the truck and walk up to front. The driver was in the back getting some boxes together and had the radio blasting hits from 70's.

UPS Guy singing, "She's a brick....HOUSE!! She's mighty, mighty...just lettin all hang out!"
I didn't want to scare the shit out of this guy so I started singing a long with him to let him know I was friendly. He just sang louder and over me...

Me "Hi UPS guy! Can I ask you a quick question?"
Super nice UPS guy "Of course"
Me "Do you happen to deliver to 200 Water St?"
UPS Guy "I do! What's your name"

Next thing you know I am running back to the car with a MASSIVE box from Zappo's in my arms and throw it in the back seat. My brother is dying laughing and of course took the picture below!

And yes both pairs went right back that same day. ha ha ha

Bon Me...Yes Please!

Oh SoWa yet again you have done me nothing but right!  I feel like I need to preface this by saying that I do love a good high end food truck and I am not a hipster.

Have you seen "The Great Food Truck Race" on the Food Network? The only reason I watched this in the beginning was because of Tyler Florence, well and I love reality tv. He is delicious and my version of why every man in America watches Gida. Every day Italian, PLEASE! It's all about her boobs and that money shot when she puts the fork in her mouth! I don't care that Tyler is married with kids and lives in San Francisco in my mind he is single and madly in love with me! (I promise there is a point.) The reason I am bringing any of this up is because there was this Bon Me truck on the show. I believe they won everything or at least every single challenge. Smart kids and the sandwiches looked so damn tasty. Since watching the show I have been on the hunt for a good Bahn Mi.

To me Asian food is what I crave morning, noon and night...any kind...I do not discriminate. It is my comfort food and I can't get enough. What's a Bahn Mi you ask? It's a Vietnamese sandwich. This fabulous sandwich I had on Sunday was filled roasted bbq pork stuffed in a nice crusty but soft baguette with a asian influced cucumber salad, fresh cilantro, daikon radish, red onion and spicy mayo. My mouth is watering just thinking about this. I walked around the open market eating it trying to savor every bite but in reality woofing it down like it was my last meal on earth. It's warm, salty, spicy, cool, crispy and kind of sweet. IT IS SO FREAKING GOOD and I was so sad when I polished it off in record time. I was trying to convince Alex (my better half) to go get one just so I could have a bite of his or half of it. He wouldn't do it....he had his eye on a hot dog stand.

So what did I do? I cried on the inside for a second and then moved on to the Yummy Mummy Brownie Stand. Go! Go and get the caramel nougat brownies (they have milky way bars shoved in the center of them). She is there every Sunday and has been for years. The owner is VERY nice but her brownies are out of this world. Chewy, chocolaty and full of fun. The freeze super well if you need. I always buy two or three so I can freeze at least two of them and eat them all week. I just finished my last bite of the Nutella one last night.

I think I am going to have to go back to the market this weekend. My mouth is still watering....

Beth vs Portland

First I am going to say sorry for this being such a long post....I just ate so much and Second let's just say I ate every weight watchers point I will ever have for the rest of my life last weekend. Why you ask? Because "Hi, my name is Beth and I am an emotional eater!" and because what the hell else would I do on a weekend get away?! My version of seeing the local sights is checking out the top spots on Chowhound and Yelp to eat!

What did I eat you ask? Well here's the blow by blow.....(please keep  a snack handy because I get hungry just thinking about. When I did recap this with my mother who is also part of the WW club she said she almost threw up in her mouth because of what I ate and the amount of food.....) Fat kids...Here we go!

It started off at Duck Fat...what is duck fat...A....freaking....mazing....that what it is. You go for the french fries because they are cooked in duck fat. The next best thing to this would be fried pork belly (if you can find this, eat it! It's so wrong but SO RIGHT) We got three dipping sauces with the fries...truffled homemade ketchup, curry aioli and a horseradish aioli. Alex got (I couldn't bring myself to get it but god knows I had sips when he wasn't looking) a Tahitian Vanilla anglaise MILKSHAKE. If you don't know what anglaise is look it up and if you don't care about calories EAT IT! We split a super crispy house roasted turkey panini but I am not going to bore you with these details...it was good but that god damn milkshake and fries were amazing and worth going back for.

Next on my homemade foodie tour was the Two Fat Cats. They are known for only one thing...homemade whoppie pies! We split one and almost went back for seconds. It was by far the best I have ever had and god knows I have had my share. You don't get these hips without trying your share of whoopie pies.

We didn't stop there...we walked around a little bit, I drag Alex in and out of some stores, up some hills, through some galleries and some wine shops only to stumble upon J's, a DIVE oyster bar on the waterfront in Portland. We jumped on a few empty seats at the bar, order a bakers dozen of oysters and two beers. I really wanted to love this place for two reasons, I LOVE salty local dives with good people watching and my hero, Anthony Bourdain, loved it on No Reservations. Unfortunately these were the WORST oysters I have ever had. They were FULL of shells and salt. I cut my finger trying to eat them and they weren't clean so you had to fight to get it out of the shell. Needless to say 4 in and we were throwing in the towel. This was the ONLY miss we had on the entire trip.

So moving on....we rounded out lunch at Otto with a WONDERFUL slice of artisan pizza. It was local roasted potatoes, smoked bacon and Gouda with scallions. So good....they had TONS of other kinds and if you make into Harvard Sq they do have a brand new location there...go! Go and get some funky fun pizza. It's so freaking good! Super ultra thin crust and really funky kinds!!!

Dinner....dinner was such a hard choice. We did drinks and apps at Five fifty Five. Freshly baked biscuits with homemade chive butter...yummmm....
So we ordered the bangs island mussels; homemade 555 pickled cherry peppers, caramelized garlic, chive butter, wine and crunchy bread for dipping which I would 100% get again. I love mussels but these were special for some reason. Could have been the wine talking but very tasty.
We ordered one other thing but to be honest it wasn't even worth writing about. Not horrible but I am not going to bore you with the details. If you are Doyle you have already stopped reading this because it's too long.

The headling act of this fat kid show was Hugo....6 course chef's tasting menu with wine pairing. What did we get? Let's just put it this way it felt like Christmas (or any fabulous holiday you and your religion celebrates) every single time the next course came. It was like opening up a present every single freaking time and felt very special. I have been to MANY restaurants as you all know and this was one of the top 10 meals I have had thus far in my tiny little life. If you go, pay the money and get the tasting menu. It is SO worth it. Do you have to be adventurous? Yes! But just eat! It's beyond good. The chef goes out to the farmers market in the morning and anything he buys is the only things that go on this menu. It was one more time...fabulous....

How did we end this evening you are wondering? Long romantic walk around the city? A whole tub of tums? Nope....we went to a dive bar and did shots until yours truly couldn't see straight anymore (didn't take long) and when we got back to the hotel room we 100% order room service. I thought I passed out before the food came but found out the next morning that wasn't the case. Alex told me the second the food came into the room I was dropping elbows! (Shaking my head in shame)

There was a second day of eating but it was not nearly as aggressive as the first. If you get a chance go to Portland. It was a very cute, artsy town that had some GREAT places to eat.

P.s. I went to the gym every single day this week....