"The crossbody hand bag makes you look like a lesbian from Vermont"

....says Nicky! (aka Poodle) at dinner tonight.

Me "But it's Marc Jacobs"

Poodle "It slashes your boobs in half....what are you on sale?!"

Me "I can't win!"

 *not returning the hand bag....still love it and I think all women love a good cross body bag. They are comfortable!!! These gays were calling a cross body bag the equivalent to a croc!?! WTF?!

And then the watch conversation started....shoot me now

*Here's what you need to know about me to begin with....
- A. I don't own a watch
- B. I didn't ever think I would be the type of person who would wear a watch
- C. I don't even like wearing bangles and or bracelets all that much
- Number 4. My knowledge of watches is nothing more than some cost more than cars and you can get for $10 bucks. I can't keep a white shirt white...why the hell would I watch to buy something that will 100% get broken, lost or scratched within 48 hours of me owning it that could potentially cost more than my car in the drive way?!?

So I bought this watch today....

Walking out of the store I was thinking to myself, "Oh I love this green face! It's so simple! Great watch!" That was until I saw all of my boys at Alex's Birthday dinner tonight......

So those assholes within 5 mins had me buying a new watch that the majority of them approved of online before the third round of cocktails came! (It'll be here on Wednesday). All of them said that this looked like something you would get off of a kiosk machine in the mall that spins around in a circle OR at TJ Maxx. It wasn't a cheap watch either. I mean it's not $30k but it was more than $150. 

I think Kyle's exact words were, "Making new friends with Flava Flav!?" Kill me now..... Annnnnnnnnnnd it's going back tomorrow to Nordstroms! 

The best part of this entire conversation was when Poodle goes, "Oh show them the picture you sent me earlier...." 

Poodle "See I have the one in the middle and I might even have the one to the right too"

Me "Honey those are 100% women's watches" 

Poodle "Oh....well I have some that are bedazzled too! I think those must be women's watches as well! What can I say I have good taste!"

*We started counting his collection....I lost count after 5 watches he owned that he owned that could have gone "either way" and we are now calling "transgender" watches. LOVE HIM! Hell I may even borrow some of his watches. He does have good taste!