Beth vs Portland

First I am going to say sorry for this being such a long post....I just ate so much and Second let's just say I ate every weight watchers point I will ever have for the rest of my life last weekend. Why you ask? Because "Hi, my name is Beth and I am an emotional eater!" and because what the hell else would I do on a weekend get away?! My version of seeing the local sights is checking out the top spots on Chowhound and Yelp to eat!

What did I eat you ask? Well here's the blow by blow.....(please keep  a snack handy because I get hungry just thinking about. When I did recap this with my mother who is also part of the WW club she said she almost threw up in her mouth because of what I ate and the amount of food.....) Fat kids...Here we go!

It started off at Duck Fat...what is duck fat...A....freaking....mazing....that what it is. You go for the french fries because they are cooked in duck fat. The next best thing to this would be fried pork belly (if you can find this, eat it! It's so wrong but SO RIGHT) We got three dipping sauces with the fries...truffled homemade ketchup, curry aioli and a horseradish aioli. Alex got (I couldn't bring myself to get it but god knows I had sips when he wasn't looking) a Tahitian Vanilla anglaise MILKSHAKE. If you don't know what anglaise is look it up and if you don't care about calories EAT IT! We split a super crispy house roasted turkey panini but I am not going to bore you with these details...it was good but that god damn milkshake and fries were amazing and worth going back for.

Next on my homemade foodie tour was the Two Fat Cats. They are known for only one thing...homemade whoppie pies! We split one and almost went back for seconds. It was by far the best I have ever had and god knows I have had my share. You don't get these hips without trying your share of whoopie pies.

We didn't stop there...we walked around a little bit, I drag Alex in and out of some stores, up some hills, through some galleries and some wine shops only to stumble upon J's, a DIVE oyster bar on the waterfront in Portland. We jumped on a few empty seats at the bar, order a bakers dozen of oysters and two beers. I really wanted to love this place for two reasons, I LOVE salty local dives with good people watching and my hero, Anthony Bourdain, loved it on No Reservations. Unfortunately these were the WORST oysters I have ever had. They were FULL of shells and salt. I cut my finger trying to eat them and they weren't clean so you had to fight to get it out of the shell. Needless to say 4 in and we were throwing in the towel. This was the ONLY miss we had on the entire trip.

So moving on....we rounded out lunch at Otto with a WONDERFUL slice of artisan pizza. It was local roasted potatoes, smoked bacon and Gouda with scallions. So good....they had TONS of other kinds and if you make into Harvard Sq they do have a brand new location there...go! Go and get some funky fun pizza. It's so freaking good! Super ultra thin crust and really funky kinds!!!

Dinner....dinner was such a hard choice. We did drinks and apps at Five fifty Five. Freshly baked biscuits with homemade chive butter...yummmm....
So we ordered the bangs island mussels; homemade 555 pickled cherry peppers, caramelized garlic, chive butter, wine and crunchy bread for dipping which I would 100% get again. I love mussels but these were special for some reason. Could have been the wine talking but very tasty.
We ordered one other thing but to be honest it wasn't even worth writing about. Not horrible but I am not going to bore you with the details. If you are Doyle you have already stopped reading this because it's too long.

The headling act of this fat kid show was Hugo....6 course chef's tasting menu with wine pairing. What did we get? Let's just put it this way it felt like Christmas (or any fabulous holiday you and your religion celebrates) every single time the next course came. It was like opening up a present every single freaking time and felt very special. I have been to MANY restaurants as you all know and this was one of the top 10 meals I have had thus far in my tiny little life. If you go, pay the money and get the tasting menu. It is SO worth it. Do you have to be adventurous? Yes! But just eat! It's beyond good. The chef goes out to the farmers market in the morning and anything he buys is the only things that go on this menu. It was one more time...fabulous....

How did we end this evening you are wondering? Long romantic walk around the city? A whole tub of tums? Nope....we went to a dive bar and did shots until yours truly couldn't see straight anymore (didn't take long) and when we got back to the hotel room we 100% order room service. I thought I passed out before the food came but found out the next morning that wasn't the case. Alex told me the second the food came into the room I was dropping elbows! (Shaking my head in shame)

There was a second day of eating but it was not nearly as aggressive as the first. If you get a chance go to Portland. It was a very cute, artsy town that had some GREAT places to eat.

P.s. I went to the gym every single day this week....